Joan-Yaffa

Ciao and Hello to all of you out there.

We are truly sorry for having been silent the last few weeks. Even though news travels fast, there may be some of you who haven't heard that our dear Mommy and Nonni passed on Mothers day, May 10 @ 7pm. Sitting down and trying to put into words what was happening towards the end has not been possible up until now. I will do my best to give you a general picture. As you all know these 7 months have been a real rollercoaster. She really fought tooth and nail every minute until the bitter end. In the last few months, at least 3 times, she was very close to being discharged but every time there was something that didn't allow us to do so. She overcame 4 months of very serious infections, she overcame the disappointment of no discharge and was able to stay super positive throughout the entire ordeal. She was able to manage her nausea, her pain, and her daily dialysis. It may seem obvious to some, but as much as we thought we were prepared, we were truly not! By the 15th of April her wonderful Kidney Doctor had made it clear to us that her kidneys were no longer responding well to dialysis. He explained it well to us and to her. At that time he felt she probably had about 2 weeks before we would have to stop dialysis. Fortunately, we never had to say much or do much. On may 2 she had her last dialysis and she had already started sleeping more and never questioned the missing dialysis. They explained that she would just go into a deep sleep, that it's one of the most peaceful and painless ways to go. They all seemed to agree, going by experience that once there was no dialysis it would most likely not be more then 2-4 days in the deep, peaceful sleep. Any longer would be very, very unlikely considering her overall condition. By the 6th day of what was to be confort care she asked us when she could leave the hospital, and was reaching up to the top of her bed to lift and do pull ups. She was so strong!! Once again leaving all of us, medical staff included, surprised. We had to continue with more and more pain medication, and more meds. to help her fall into the" deep sleep". She was very strong, and really seemed to not want to stop fighting. It took 9 days of trying to help her sleep while we were dreaming of sleeping and not getting any at all!! If there is anything positive that came of this ordeal, it was the most amazing loving time we got to spend together. No secret that our relationship , like many mother-daughter relationships was not without conflict and struggle. From the moment she entered the hospital, like magic, it was all gone. We never had so many kisses, so many sweet, tender, fun and loving times. It made it all so much easier and yet more difficult, if that's possible. We remain with the love , the kisses, and the stories and are truly amazed at how wonderful she was the entire time. Thank you again to all of you who have so generously come forward and helped us, help her, in these challenging times. For those who desire to come to the service it will be at the Jewish Home for the Elderly at 302 Silver Avenue (at the corner of Mission), San Francisco, CA., 94112. She worked here for the passed 8 years, Wednesday 27th of May at 10.30 am in the synagogue. We welcome anyone who feels so inclined, and also would never take it personal if you can't make it.

We love you and thank you so much again for all the support.
Orly, Miriam Dylan